


yesterday once more

by royalvoeu



Category: Produce X 101 - Fandom, UNIQ (Band), UP10TION
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friendship/Love, M/M, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23577361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalvoeu/pseuds/royalvoeu
Summary: Jinhyuk spent the weekend like any normal person would: getting shitfaced drunk on a party. (Seungyoun just happened to be the host.)
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Lee Jinhyuk, Cho Seungyoun | Seungyoun/Lee Jinhyuk
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	yesterday once more

Jinhyuk was doing fine.

He really was sure he was. (He actually wasn’t.)

Jinhyuk was incessantly calm the whole time Wooseok listed the reasons why they should not be together anymore, even telling him to take his time because his (now ex) boyfriend was obviously trying not to get choked up. (He was trying not to choke on his own tears as well.)

He managed to come back home without having a mental breakdown despite the universe seemed to toy with him by playing a song that Wooseok liked too much on the radio he was listening while commuting. (The song felt both too familiar and unfamiliar for him, all at once.)

Jinhyuk then continued living: attending classes diligently, coming to music club practices four times a week, dining out with Byungchan plus Seungwoo when he was less busy, and coming to movies once every two weeks. (The movie part apparently was a little harder than he initially thought, considering he used to always have his now ex-boyfriend to watch with.)

Still, Jinhyuk insisted he was doing just fine.

Maybe because he saw _it_ coming. Maybe because he had been waiting for it to happen, knowing full well that it was inevitable and, who was he kidding? It was Wooseok, the campus sweetheart, and quoting what everyone else said when they got together in the first place: should never settle for the less. And by “the less”, Jinhyuk (and, once again, everyone else) meant himself.

Jinhyuk would be lying if the thoughts of Wooseok getting bored of him then decide to move on never crossed his mind. He had been expecting, but that didn’t mean it would hurt less when it actually happened.

Admittedly, it did hurt. But quoting the man himself, Jinhyuk was fine. A little bit tattered here and there, but still, _just fine._

(He was _not_ fine, and he was the only person who wasn’t aware of that.)

*

“Seungwoo hyung said his friend opened a new bar down the street and invite us to join the soft opening. Free drinks but you’ve got to pay for the food. You coming?” Byungchan threw himself beside Jinhyuk, giving no mercy towards the poor almost fully deflated bean bag. They finished their club activities almost twenty minutes ago and most of their friends have gone back already, but the campus’s full AC-blasted studio and lounge was too good to not be used especially after a nonstop 2 hours dance practice on a hot summer night like this.

“Only if Seungwoo hyung pays,” Jinhyuk said, rummaging through his duffle bag to get his toiletries. The perks of staying late on the studio after everyone else left was having the good shower room to himself. He was just about to go when Byungchan approached him, towel still hung around his shoulders after a shower himself.

Byungchan rolled his eyes. “You’re pushing your newly-broken up pitiful guy agenda on him too hard,”

“As far as I can recall, I’ve been doing just fine. It was you two who insisted on treating me stuff after _that_ day. I figure out it might not hurt to try once again.” Jinhyuk shrugged nonchalantly, now getting up with his stuff in hands.

“First of all, you weren’t fine. Second of all, we were being good friends. Third of all, if I see any signs of you planning to take Seungwoo hyung’s kindness for granted, I’ll personally skin you alive with my bare hands.”

It was Jinhyuk’s turn to roll his eyes. “Your boyfriend would actually smart enough to realize when I’m about to take advantages on him, chill.” 

“So you coming or not?” said Byungchan impatiently.

“I am. I could use some drinks right now.” Jinhyuk replied and went straight to the shower room.

Jinhyuk and Byungchan only arrived approximately thirty minutes ago but they (plus Seungwoo) were down on their second soju bottle already. Byungchan and Seungwoo, the certified heavy drinker, hardly seemed drunk, their speech didn’t get slurred and their faces definitely didn’t flush a little bit. Jinhyuk on the other hand was on the verge of being completely wasted. If you asked him what his name was, he most probably would answer Lee Seunggi.

“You drink awfully a lot for someone who can’t drink,” Seungwoo said for the nth times, pointing at tomato-faced grinning Jinhyuk with his chopstick.

“It’s because you’re paying,” Byungchan cut in, tilting his head to shoot an What-did-I-tell-you-before? glare at his boyfriend.

Seungwoo simply laughed. “It’s okay. I don’t mind,”

“I do mind,” Byungchan insisted, and Jinhyuk only rolled his eyes, knowing full well there was no bite in his best friend’s words.

“Are you busy next Saturday?” Jinhyuk mumbled, stuffing yet another piece of stir-fried octopus into his mouth.

“Me? Nah. Sejun asked to change shift with me so I’ll be free,” Seungwoo answered. He started working part-time at a book café in town three months ago, and (not so) surprisingly gained a few customer fans himself thanks to his good service and his good-looking face, so the boss purposely made him work on Friday and Saturday nights.

“Let’s go bowling,” Jinhyuk said, waving his chopsticks eagerly.

“No!” Byungchan cut in quickly before Seungwoo could even process Jinhyuk’s suggestion, waving his hand excessively while doing so.

“I have a better idea,” He said, sitting bolt upright now. “There’s a party this Saturday.”

Jinhyuk’s expression turned horrified in a matter of second. “No,”

“Oh come on,” Byungchan started, in his lecturing tone that both Jinhyuk and Seungwoo knew full well they wouldn’t get to hear the end of it unless they indulged him.

“It’s been a while since someone from our campus actually holds a decent party. I can’t miss this one, you’ll come with me, right?” Byungchan turned to Seungwoo, shooting him with his best puppy eyes, which Jinhyuk found extremely unfair because he knew Seungwoo wouldn’t say no to those eyes. He saw the said man nodding to Byungchan’s request and his best friend exclaimed a loud yes.

“You’re coming too, Jinhyuk.”

“No,”

“Who says I’m taking a no?”

“God,” Jinhyuk exhaled, putting down his chopsticks with a loud clang. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want more people to shoot me a pitiful look because I have now perfectly proven, with flying colors, that what they think about the campus’s heartthrob Kim Wooseok deserves better than me, is true,” 

“It’s not, though.” Byungchan mumbled, and Jinhyuk pretended not to hear, instead reaching out to pour more drink for himself.

“You said you were fine,”

“That doesn’t mean I’m willing to hear more bullshits coming from some stupid blabbermouths,” Jinhyuk said, his words final. He didn’t miss the shared look between Byungchan and Seungwoo but decided to promptly ignore it again.

“Come on? It wouldn’t be that bad. No one would come and tell you all sort of shits in front of your face. Especially when you have me, and Seungwoo hyung too.”

Jinhyuk waved his hand dismissively. “I know. I just don’t want to ruin the fun for you two,”

  
“You don’t,” Byungchan started, but Seungwoo lifted his hand as if to ask for a permission to talk. Byungchan sighed but then nodded, and Seungwoo leaned closer to prop his chin on his left hand, staring at Jinhyuk who was still stubbornly focusing on his lettuce.

“What about this? You coming to the party means you don’t care of what people might think about you or say in front of you, and it also means the break up breaks you but it doesn’t _really_ break you. Don’t you think it will be a good proof that you’re _really_ _fine_?”

The air stilled and so did Jinhyuk’s hand that was about to stuff more greens into his mouth. He furrowed his brows, taking in Seungwoo’s words.

“Who knows you might meet someone new as well,” Seungwoo added, his smile full of saccharine, realizing Jinhyuk might start to take his bait.

“Hyung,” Jinhyuk began, and Seungwoo raised his eyebrows, looking at him from under his eyelashes and Jinhyuk thought the couple sitting in front of him suck big time—both Byungchan and Seungwoo knew how to make him feel better in any kind of situation, and they definitely knew how to make him say yes when he didn’t want to even consider the option. 

“Well?” Seungwoo asked when Jinhyuk didn’t continue, and Byungchan already had these seemingly permanent teasing curls on the corners of his lips.

*

The next Saturday, Jinhyuk was there in the middle of a huge modern house turned completely to a dance floor, with loud EDM music blasting here and there and people walking around with refreshments on their hands. Seungwoo and Byungchan were nowhere to be found after spending a good thirty minutes being his guardian angels, dodging every question about Jinhyuk’s wellbeing after _the breakup—_ a side effect of turning the whole campus upside down by dating everyone’s sweetheart: your business was everyone else’s as well, thank you very much—and sending death glares towards anyone who dared to look at Jinhyuk longer than thirty seconds. (Thirty seconds, or what the love master Han Seungwoo called as Critical First Thirty, were enough for someone to decide whether to approach the object in their seeing range or not, and any longer than thirty seconds usually did not mean well.)

He could still feel curious glances thrown towards his direction, or blatant whispered insults something along the way of _He should’ve known his place_ and _Of course Wooseok would ditch him, it was already amazing they lasted for four months_. But instead of looking at them with gazes that made anyone feel getting thrown to the deepest pit of hell would be nicer like his two bestfriends did, he decided to play dumb and pay no attention to the stupid blabbermouths, courtesy of his own words.

Two hours and a half through the party (Who was the host again?), Jinhyuk, a full beer can on his hand—his fourth? Fifth?—was seen sidestepping past multiple people and greeted others mindlessly, his buzzing mind and ringing ears after a few rounds of ridiculous drinking game and dance sessions wouldn’t stop him from having fun because fuck it, he was determined to let people see how _fine_ he was.

But the air inside soon felt too suffocating and the music too loud Jinhyuk thought his ears might fall off, so he stepped outside to the pool he has seen before when he came. Whoever the host of the party were, they must be some of a rich _rich._

The cold breeze greeted Jinhyuk, sobering him up a little bit, and the sight of huge duck and flamingo floaties on the pool actually made him laugh a little bit. The pool wasn’t as quiet as Jinhyuk hoped to be, there were some people sitting on the edge trying to cool themselves off as well. It was in the middle of a summer, after all.

“You good there?”

An unfamiliar voice distracted Jinhyuk’s focus—not that he could actually focus on anything with the worrying amount of alcohol on his bloodstream right now. Jinhyuk hardly drank, but when he did, he always made sure to go overboard. (— Choi Byungchan, 2020.)

Jinhyuk turned around, meeting the gaze of an equally unfamiliar guy standing behind him, a beer can for himself on his hand. He looked neither younger or older than Jinhyuk, so Jinhyuk concluded they were same-aged (Actually with the baby face and smiling eyes this guy could pass as someone younger than Jinhyuk, but he wouldn’t say that out loud, of course.). This guy looked more put together than Jinhyuk though, hair done half-up in a comma hair, white loose graphic t-shirt, washed denim jeans and a pair of Converse. Jinhyuk’s eyes might be blurry but he spotted two tattoos peeking from this stranger’s sleeves, and another one on his upper arm.

_Now that’s cool._

“I am,” Jinhyuk said, not realizing he slurred his words.

The guy shot him an amused look, completed with a quiet laugh and eyes that turned to a half moon shape. Jinhyuk had heard people telling him he had the eyes of Zootopia’s Nick and Judy at the same time—his eyes had different shapes—but the guy in front of him resembled Nick even better than him. While Nick was a snobby red fox, Jinhyuk was sure whoever standing before him now was a friendlier version of the fox. His eyes had the kind glow that Jinhyuk couldn’t even explain properly.

“You don’t look like you are,” The fox guy said. “I think you should sit there before you stumble over anything and hurt yourself,”

Pointing at one of the bench nearest to Jinhyuk, the guy walked ahead and plopped himself there, taking a swig of his beer then made a satisfied sound afterwards. He pointed at his side with a tilt of his head, telling Jinhyuk to sit there. It took Jinhyuk a few seconds to register what just happened before he decided to just sit there and making friends (That’s what we’re going to do, right? His brain supplied.).

“Was it too loud back there?”

“Not much louder than whatever it is that’s going on in my head,” Jinhyuk laughed dryly.

“Oh.” The guy winced a bit, his expression changed to a confused one that Jinhyuk strangely found cute.

“Sorry. Too much for a small talk, I guess.” Jinhyuk grimaced, but the guy shook his head quickly. “Nah, it was okay. We all have _that_ moment. And to be honest, you kind of looking like you’re completely going through _that_ moment, which by the way, the reason why I tell you to sit before you slip and get drown on the pool.”

Jinhyuk laughed. “Yeah, thanks. I appreciate the concern,”

The guy smiled at him, a cute square bracket smile, “Better be safe than sorry.”

They both returned back to their drinks, Jinhyuk purposely ignoring the hammering that suddenly started on his head. He gulped down his beer, drowning whatever it was that was threatening to come up.

“Oh, I’m Seungyoun.” The fox guy offered after a minute of comfortable silence with muffled noise of music from the main house as a background, and he gave Jinhyuk another slight smile.

“Jinhyuk.” Jinhyuk replied, and as much as he tried to ignore it, he caught Seungyoun’s slight change in expression, eyebrows twitching and eyes widening before he quickly relaxed and gave him his neutral face again.

“You must have heard about me.” Jinhyuk said as a matter of fact.

Seungyoun gave him his confused expression again, but then shrugged, pulling his lips to a thin line that looked even more like a square bracket now. “I guess. You made yourself pretty famous in there,”

“Must be because I was stupid,”

“Brave, actually.” Seungyoun corrected, and Jinhyuk chuckled. “Thanks. That sounds nicer than what most people think about me.”

“I don’t exactly know what is happening or what did happen between you and, quote unquote, the campus’s sweetheart.” Seungyoun mumbled, looking at the people in the far side of the pool, busy chatting and clinking their beer cans. “But I don’t… really fancy how everyone is reacting to that. It’s your relationship, and we all know relationships are made and broken all the time. I don’t understand all the ruckus about you and, Wooseok,”

He said Wooseok’s name so carefully, and Jinhyuk somehow softened.

“Hey, you’re kind of nice,” Jinhyuk sputtered, and he immediately got rewarded with a sheepish smile and an adorable laugh. “It’s not just kind of, I’m truly kind, mind you.” Seungyoun replied.

Jinhyuk grinned back at Seungyoun, feeling lighter all of a sudden. (Did he mention Seungyoun is kind of cute?)

A comfortable silence passed and Jinhyuk took another swig of his beer because something once again felt not quite right on his insides and his first thought was to just drown it in more alcoholic liquid. (He _didn’t_ know he would regret it soon.)

Jinhyuk hummed. “I’m fine though.”

Seungyoun shot him a side glance, but didn’t say anything.

“I mean, I’ve been feeling fine. When he broke up with me I was calm throughout, and I didn’t cry. I continued my life. I’m back to living my life before him and I’m fine.” Jinhyuk chuckled. “So I really don’t know what everyone is making a big deal of,”

Jinhyuk really didn’t know why he said all that to Seungyoun, someone he barely knew and only made acquaintance of ten minutes ago, too.

“Are you, though?” Seungyoun moved to look at Jinhyuk straight in his eyes.

“What?”

“Are you really, _really_ fine?”

One simple question and Jinhyuk suddenly felt a siren blaring inside his head, almost deafening him so all he could hear was the end of Seungyoun’s question and his own irregular heartbeats. Something moved inside Jinhyuk, and it _hurt,_ it somehow hurt and it felt like it was tearing him apart. There were certain words that were threatening to escape his mouth, but he quickly swallowed, trying to control himself, but it didn’t help at all when his eyes started to well up without his permission. The hammering inside his head sounded even much, much, much louder than before.

_No one ever actually asked him that before._

“I’m,” Jinhyuk breathed out heavily. “Not.”

Seungyoun looked at him pointedly in the eyes, and maybe it was the beer, maybe it was the sleepiness or maybe it was the way he suddenly felt an unpleasant bitter taste on his mouth, but Jinhyuk swore for that split second, he felt like Seungyoun would understand. His gaze was tender and understanding, and Jinhyuk found himself finally, _finally_ , ready to acknowledge what he truly felt—months after the breakup.

“It’s okay.” Seungyoun said carefully. “No one is ever truly fine after a break up.”

Jinhyuk sniffled, but he quickly tried to cover it up with a snort. “I saw it coming, you know.”

Seungyoun frowned.

“I knew it was me, though, I was—am, the one at fault. I let what people say about him deserving so much better than just me got into my head, and I became exactly that person undeserving of him.” Jinhyuk sighed. “So I knew it was inevitable, that he got tired of me and decided to break up with me.”

Seungyoun saw Jinhyuk wiping the corner of his eyes, hiding the tears that hadn’t been there for months (And why now? Jinhyuk didn’t understand as well.), but said nothing. 

“It hurt, it hurts, and I’m not fine, at all.” Jinhyuk huffed. “But it’s… Kind of fine for me? It did hurt—it does still hurt, but I expected it, so it hurts less now, if I’m making any sense.”

“It’s like… The kind of hurt that I know will go away soon. And I think I’ll be fine, soon. I’m just pretending I’m fine now. You know, fake it til you make it?” Jinhyuk laughed, a half-hearted laugh, but the look on Seungyoun’s eyes abruptly stopped him.

“I don’t know, Jinhyuk.” He began softly. “Be it a hurt that _hurts_ you so much, or a hurt that you know will go away soon, you can be _not fine._ You can be not fine and not pretend you are fine.”

Maybe it was the beer, maybe it was the sleepiness, or maybe it was the bile on his stomach and his dinner that were threatening to come up altogether, but Jinhyuk felt sudden wave of warmth spreading on his chest.

“As cliché as this might sound, it’s fine to not be fine. If it’s truly like what you’ve said before, the kind of hurt that you know will go away soon, then it will.” Seungyoun smiled, a slight twinkle in his eyes. “You just have to accept that you are not fine but you are going to be, soon. Then that way you’ll really be fine soon.”

Maybe it was the beer, maybe it was the sleepiness, or maybe it was the fact that Jinhyuk found himself relieved at the thoughts of someone finally thinking it was fine for him to admit that he wasn’t fine.

Jinhyuk opened his mouth to say something in return, but the next thing he felt was the loud ringing on his ears and the bile rushing up on his throat quickly and he promptly threw up, probably puking his whole organs in the process, leaving Seungyoun winced in both surprise and, let’s be honest, disgust.

Then Jinhyuk passed out. 

*

Jinhyuk woke up the next day with a skull-splitting headache and mouth as dry as Sahara, lying on his neatly made bed and smelling a lot like dirty laundry and embarrassment. He groaned, recalling the sequence of events happened last night: the party, Byungchan and Seungwoo as his guards, beer pong games, him dancing (not so) raunchily with people that he didn’t even know their names were, and Seungyoun.

Seungyoun.

_Oh my God_.

“ _Fuck_.” Jinhyuk shot up to sit straight, scanning his surrounding—thankful he was on his own shared flat with Byungchan and not in some other places—before checking himself out: clothes on, shoes intact, but he was wearing another denim jacket that he knew immediately wasn’t his. His would’ve been so gross considering he puked his kidneys out on it last night. 

“You’re a mess, you know that?”

Byungchan’s voice brought Jinhyuk back to reality, and he saw his best friend leaning on his bedroom’s doorway with a mug of most probably ginger tea—Byungchan’s favorite hangover drink—and an accusing look thrown towards him.

“Don’t tell me what I already know,” Jinhyuk grunted, kicking his shoes off. He knew he had to do extra clean up on his bedroom after this.

“You literally got shitfaced drunk and puked on Seungyoun, Cho Seungyoun, the host of the party himself.”

“I said don’t tell me what I—Seungyoun what?” Jinhyuk twisted his neck to look at Byungchan, feeling completely stupid all of a sudden.

Byungchan let out an exasperated sigh. “I told you the party was at Seungyoun’s place at least twice a day before yesterday, mind you. You were the one not paying attention at all. Serves you right, I’m never letting this die down.”

“Hey, wait—” Jinhyuk yelled, but Byungchan only shrugged then left Jinhyuk’s room, humming a cheery song that sounded awful and annoying to Jinhyuk who felt extremely, utterly, absolutely trash right now.

The first thing that he knew he should be doing was to find a way to contact Seungyoun—who surprisingly managed to turn something inside _him_ , but regrettably had to be the victim of his own stupid doings. Jinhyuk rushed to find his phone before coming back to Byungchan to ask him out of force for Seungyoun’s contact, but instead he found a carefully folded piece of paper on the pocket where he remembered he left his phone, and opened them in a haste.

An unfamiliar writing, but it gave him a strange familiar feeling.

**_Give yourself some credits for holding up for so long._ **

****

**_P.S. You’re fine for someone who admits he’s currently not fine. ;)_ **

**_P.P.S. Your jacket is in the laundry. Give me back mine when you’re sober._ **

****

****

**_Cho Seungyoun_ **

The empty imaginary spot that left permanent ache around his chest for the past months tingled, and despite still having a bitter aftertaste of his party last night on his mouth and a headache that was probably close enough to kill him, Jinhyuk felt _light_. 

For the first time in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> i kinda squeezed my brain for this--even though i said on my twitter that my brain loves weiyoun so much lately that i keep getting new ideas to write for them. if this seemed rushed then i apologize... i hope you enjoy it, still. thank you for stopping by!


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